Ineeda

She (they) probably believe I’m a total basket case. I am not. Rejection, loss, and abandonment can make one lose practically and sanity for awhile. My therapist dissected my childhood and pinpointed events as a catalyst to my suppressed trauma. I was told it was going to take a long time to find some sort of peace of mind. I ping pong through all five steps. At least, the anger has subsided greatly and now chalk it up to “it is what it was”. Us…the equivalent to red wine and a Black Mirror marathon. She was fed up and threw in the towel. I did get five chances and have no reason to blame anyone other than myself. I wish I had her strength to move forward, though I realized she is just as weak. She was grieving her so I never occupied space in her heart. Her crazy was her and mostly kept it within, though it seeped through your pores. I ingested the poison. Regardless I fucked up royally. I lost a best friend to be. I will continue to mourn, lick my wounds until the scar formation. Love hurts.