Kryptonite (work in progress)

She had an infectious laugh. I loved her madly. It had been a tumultuous year. I was excited for summer and for her to finish grad school. I was hellbent on making the necessary changes to keep her. I planned a week’s getaway to escape our chaotic life.

It never happened — and I was devastated. She ghosted me for weeks then sent a text that she had been busy and family was in town. I would discover later through conversation that she had met a new friend on-line. She would shift blame, accuse me of not being available therefore, her and the new friend had slept together. I felt my heart in my throat. I sat motionless. She would reply hastily, “It just happened.” And I recalled several months earlier she hadn’t come home, and dismissed my inquiry as none of my business. And then in January the ex moved in and I got the “nothing happened…we just cuddled bullshit.” My head was spinning. I kicked myself under the table. I was angry at her disregard of my feelings and promiscuity, yet still I wanted her. She took a deep breath and without hesitation, “I want to continue our relationship however, I (only) want to see someone else intimately.” My world was shattered and regretfully, the beaten neglected dog would turn rabid.