I miss

not seeing her enough. It’s usually our annual holiday party, random place but never just her. It’s been so long, yet I have seen her/them 4x since October. I never plan on our meetings, though a small world there’s more than a bridge between us. It’s the strangest thing- a room full of people like a fucking large amount of bodies, yet she stands out. It’s as if I can sense her presence. It’s fucking bizarre. Each time, I’m shocked, speechless due to my heart suddenly in my throat. It’s the best and worse feeling. I am suddenly reminded and miss her immensely. I will always keep my distance as I was told. Perhaps one day or another two yrs, she/ they will acknowledge my being without judgement or prejudice.