AnonymouS

We do not communicate therefore at times as I reflect on our experience I tend to lean more at how you may be thinking than just that of my own thoughts. I am not sure if this is good, bad, unhealthy or simply wishful. I think that you feel many things… first off, you felt betrayed, you felt unnoticed, unheard and even un-loved. Then you felt paranoid, then you felt revengful, then you felt guilty, and now you are at a loss wondering how the hell any of what unfolded came to be. As for what I think? I think exactly how it is that you think. I feel at a loss, and I feel a sense of guilt for my responses. In the midst of battle we only seek to destroy, it is after we stand in the rubble that we wonder how or why it happened. We may never fully have the answers because once in the “Fright, Flight or Fight” mode the mind shuts off to protect itself and we merely run on adrenaline to survive. In our case it was never physical but rather egotistical and emotional. I have been in recovery mode now for the past few weeks. My head & heart are back on and I am standing looking down at the rubble wondering if you will ever forgive me for my part in our behavior? And if by chance you are thinking the same thing then please know the answer is “Yes” it was all foolish and we were better than this. I hope our future will never be tainted by these actions. You are in my thoughts today on June 15th and you know why. I pray you are in a good head space now and things are finally coming together for you. And for the record, I did notice you, I did hear you and I did Love you.