I miss you still after all this time. Not every minute or every day, but at least every now and again. I know that I shouldn’t. As you said, it’s been two years! And Jesus, to think the first time, you gave me 28 days (later) without sight or smell of you. To your surprise and irritation, I missed you more. One thing is certain, happy or sad, you have an insatiable appetite. You chowed meanwhile I was lost in the constant buzzing of your phone and too many names to sort in my head. The need to crawl under a rock for a few days became visibly apparent.
I admit that I wasn’t a good person at times. Jealousy reared its ugly head as the realization of rejection impaled me. I froze in my angst and insecurities. I wanted more of you that you simply couldn’t give. I expected more and in turn, you gave less.
I never expect you to understand. We are very much fromtwo different worlds. I’ve spent four decades building my fortress. You watched from the forest and occasionally, catapulted rocks and tender wildlife to get me to open the gate. Some days were better than most and I succumbed to your demands. Regardless, I wasn’t your burden to bare and for the wasted time spent, I am truly sorry.
Thank you for being the catalyst. The pain of losing you was more than I could stand, but now my destitute is overrated and here I am
Her mourning coffee 